You are a huge, incomplete hole in my heart. Bits are crumbled, under construction, because you haven’t been fulfilled yet and you’re not quite ready for the final build-ons in my life’s foundations. I have so much in store for you, that I want include, that I have a feeling that in time, it will be complete, quirky with different bricks of every size, shape, and colour, marking the importance of each of you. You’re a huge theme in my everyday life; with the songs I listen to, and whatever I dive into, you’re always at the end of road with it, in the background, subconsciously. I like that. It gives me hope that you’re still around for that so that I can really work towards fulfilling you. Because, in truth, I am a dreamer. It gives me power, a hidden one, that allows me to work towards you. With you in the back of my mind, I can face a crisis strongly, faroff in the sky, looking to it with familiarity along the lines of a wish and believing in it. Surely, it will come full circle.
You’ve grown up so much. Gone were the days that you had no idea what to do, and tailed me with your sad baby face, complete with chubby cheeks and puppy dog eyes. Now you’ve grown, in both height and mind, matured and serious. Sometimes I wonder if whether or not it’s a good thing, but when I think carefully about it, it really is. Believe it or not, I’m exceptionally proud of your achievements. You try and work so hard, you deserve it. Don’t you ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Friends may come and go, but we’re forever, because we’re family. We’ve got eachother in a whole other way. Sure, we get into some of the most ridiculous arguments over basically nothing, even more so than most siblings, but you know what? It keeps us unique. Nobody’s perfect, and we sure as hell live by that. As you’re growing up, the topic of things shift, but I’m enjoying how it’s going. Because either way, you’ll always still be Chubby Cheeks to me. Except that now you, my little one, just isn’t so little anymore. I love you.
Sorry for b*tching out today, like always. I always have my .. moments. But you can’t say that you don’t either. Everybody does. Who doesn’t have a somewhat dysfunctional family? After all, they all turn out lovable towards the end in truth. I love you. I hope you know that. If you’re ever going somewhere off downhearted, think about that. You’ve provided me with so much up til this point in my life that I wouldn’t know what to do without you. Relationships with you are so much different than friends, because we’re literally flesh and blood. I love the rituals we have within eachother, and you have to admit some of our fights, though stupid, are sure as hell amusing. I’m so grateful to have you behind me in whatever I do, and being the solid voice of wisdom when I’m in a different sort of doubt that only you as parents can advise me on. Thank you so much, for sacrificing so much. I’ll do my best to make you proud, for you to swell with pride to tell people, “That’s our daughter.”
Currently, you are nonexistent. However, you do flit towards to me and back at times in some form I can’t ever comprehend. Feelings like these suck. I’m all for the fantasy of it, but in reality, you kinda suck. But since I haven’t truly met you .. yet .. I suppose I can’t say much otherwise. Whoever you are, I hope that you are worth my time.
You should know who you are without me telling you. You’re the people I converse with on a daily basis on just about anything, and no one other than that. I can tell you so many things, from this to that, and either way, we’ll all end up laughing over something. It’s one of the things I love best about the way we are. Yes, I can b*tch about things, but you guys know how to take it. My worst days instantly flip into the best ones after moments of venting and reminisce. I’m always eternally grateful by how you’ve taken me into your life and letting us live our lives with eachother this way. Inside jokes are the way we roll, the slightest reference to it having us bursting at the seams in laughter. I love you. I hope you know that. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for listening. And thank you, for being my best friend.